As a full time working parent, who is lucky enough to work in the education system and have summer off with the kids, I should be grateful, but I’m tired. As the school year goes on, the summer “to do” list grows. Every major task and activity gets put off until the summer. This is supposed to be the time to relax, rejuvenate, spend time with the kids and possibly reconnect with your spouse, but for some reason it is anything but these things. Here I am a week away from going back to work full time and I feel like I need a vacation from my vacation. I’m tired and wishing that every day wasn’t so darn hard.

There is bickering, fighting, and arguing over who has more x, y, or z. There is the never ending task list in the 30 degree weather. There is one child who is up until 10 pm with anxiety aches and pains and the other who is up at 5am raring to go. There is the constant “Mom, I’m hungry… What’s for lunch? What can I eat? He hurt me. She stole my ….”. Does it ever stop? Apparently not. But, in between all of the craziness there is laughter and an “I love you” that helps us get through.

I am trying my best to be grateful and accept the fact that some of the ‘to do’ list won’t get done. I think I need to look at summer through the eyes of my kids. I think that will help me gain a better perspective. So here goes…

From the kids…

We had swimming lessons, Lego Camp and Drama camp. We had water gun fights, nerf gun fights, rode skateboards and bikes. We stayed up late. We were bored. We went swimming. We did crafts and built contraptions.

We went to the doctor, the dentist, the eye doctor and the orthodontist. We shopped for beds and new clothes. We reorganized the cutlery drawer and decluttered our rooms.

We went on a ferry and stayed in a hotel at the beach and a hotel in the City. We went Skim-boarding, beach combing, and swimming. We had butterflies land on our heads and goats climb on our backs. We toured the Parliament building and the Bug Zoo. We shopped for souvenirs, saw goats on a roof, watched a movie in a theatre in the hotel and stayed up late. We had a sleepover with Mom or Dad every night in the hotel and it was the best vacation we ever had!

It’s true. We did do all of those things. In between those things were the hard times, but maybe we need to shift our perspective. We set high expectations for ourselves and we met many of them. But why do we set such high expectations all the time? Maybe they just aren’t realistic? We don’t live in a movie. This is real life. Real life with two kids with ADHD. Real life with anxiety. Real life. Why is it so hard to feel that what we accomplished is enough?

We need to try to see things through their eyes. Maybe many parents do this already. I need to try to do this more. I want to stay still while a butterfly lands on my head, fall in the sand trying to skim across the water on a flat board at the beach and laugh with the goats tickling my neck. I want that to be enough.

How do you keep your expectations realistic? How do you let go and focus on the positives rather than challenges?