Here we are, 6 months after we started medication with JP. I feel like we have finally found the right combination of medication where he is a safer, happier, more focused version of himself. Making the decision to medicate was a tough one, but the safety concerns took over and we felt we had to try. 

After consulting with the Psychiatrist we started with a low dose (10mg Biphentin) in mid-June and saw some progress and we slowly increased over the next 5 months. 

Suddenly, JP went from a happy, energetic boy who barely stopped moving, talked a mile a minute and made very impulsive decisions to a boy that could actually sit down and draw or do a puzzle and eventually play a game! This was amazing. It was so great to see him find things he was interested in and he began to take pride in his work.  Not a lot of school work at first but in his drawings or his rooom organization or the dance move he mastered. It was so great to see this growth in JP. He still struggled with regulation, still had fights with his sister, still made unsafe choices at times and still struggled to hold it together during busy events, such as family functions or summer fairs, but every day he made progress. So did we. We learned more about him and how to help him. How to read him and tell when he had enough and needed redirection or when we had to ask his sister to leave the room because he was about to lose it. Overall though, we got to know JP and he got to know himself better too. 

 The last medication increase in October from 25-30mg was too much. It was pretty clear within days because we saw a personality change that we weren’t okay with. He was sorrowful and sad in the morning with no appetite but he did fairly well in the afternoons and evenings. School was reporting a positive change- increased focus, less impulsiveness etc, which was great, but we felt he had lost his joy, which wasn’t okay with us. When I asked JP about how he was feeling he said the medicine transformed him into someone who could be focussed on his work but it also transformed into someone that didn’t like recess or playing anymore. He was able to articulate it so clearly that way and we knew this was not acceptable to us, so we went back to the psychiatrist to discuss options. We knew the lower dose was doing a decent job but wasn’t quite enough but giving up joy for focus with the higher dose wasn’t okay with us. 

The Psychiatrist was great and suggested we decrease his dose of Biphentin back to 25mg and add a .025mg Clonidine, which is what he takes before bed. It was an interesting suggestion but worth a try. We brainstormed other options in case this didn’t work and started the next day. Within a few days his appetite was back and he was chatty and happy in the mornings again. There are still some struggles at school and the teacher is tracking some data which we take back to the Psychiatrist in January. Overall though, I feel we have found a good balance. 

JP is happier and hungrier in the morning, he is able to focus more at school, he seems more content and he is proud of his progress. The main point in all of this is that during medication trials sometimes you have to take a step back to take a step forward. Paying attention to your child and finding that line between joy and focus is tough to figure out but a great place to be if you can get there. Starting medication is a hard decision but you will know pretty quickly whether it is helping or not and if it does, you will have a happier child because he will feel more in control and be able to focus enough to figure out his talents and where he finds peace, pride and joy. At this moment for JP, that is mostly through breakdancing and drawing. He always had a great imagination but now he can focus and get what is in his head out and we love to see it!